Just to let you in on what’s happening in this wonderful, wonderful life of mine (it IS wonderful, mind you), I’m currently threading another crossroad — one I never thought I’d find myself in at this point in my life.
..and I’m excited and scared and restless. As if I’ve never been more sure and more uncertain at the same time. Seth Godin hit the nail hard in the head when he said, “if it doesn’t cost your life, it isn’t a quest.”
I’m thinking it through, weighing things down, waiting for the right signals. But one thing for sure — I’m turning 25 this year, and a quest is just what I need.
Today, I took a break and had coffee without sugar. I’ve never had coffee without sugar in my life, until now. And let me just say that I hate it. I hate how it tastes — its bitterness leaving this annoying after-taste in my tongue that I could not get rid off even after gulping mug-fulls of water.
But I drank it still, taking it all in because I thought it was about time to learn to like what’s unlike-able. I had to know how far I’d go without sugar — how I’d live without depending too much on the sugary taste that I’ve gotten so used to.
You see, life is like that. It’s not all sugar and spice and everything nice. Once in a while, you have to learn to live with the bitterness and the un-wanted things that come with life (also, to accept things you can’t change, and not attempt to change things you can’t accept).
I’d like to preserve a memory in this post. Something that will keep thugging at my heart for sure, but one which I’m determined to accept, to leave behind, and eventually, forget, by God’s grace.
After all, I know that a few more mugs of water will wash the bitterness away.
A little less than 2 days left before the year ends, would you look at that. In a few hours, together with my extended family, I shall say good bye to 2007. “Will you be in church on Sunday?,” Jovan, a friend, asked me the other day. I answered, “Of course. I want to be there when SBC bids 2007 goodbye.” :)
Year 2007, what can I say. 2007 brought me victories and accomplishments I never thought were possible at this point in my life. There were new (and overwhelming) opportunities, responsibilities, and commitments that were beyond my expectations. Of course there were heartbreaks, sacrifices, and losses as well — which brought about one leap of faith after another, spiritual highs and lows, and answered prayers.
And then there was love — an overflow of it in various forms and ways.
It’s a beautiful year, indeed. And by beautiful, I mean a lot of things — things I may not be able to give justice to because even if I try confining them into words, I would only end up robbing them off their true beauty.
Now just so I have some sort of a format, I’m doing an old blog meme I did two years ago, which I’m modifying now to capture the real highlights of the year that (soon-to-be) was. Here are some of my best posts for year 2007, grouped by month, with copy-pasted excerpts (because I’m too lazy to make summaries hehe). Join me as I wrap the year up. :)
Fine, the “Ala Riz” part is blpht. Not to hoard all the credit, I got this recipe from my brother, ergo, if anyone of you has come across this recipe from somewhere, then it’s my brother who got it from somewhere, okay? Okay.
Remember when I said I was looking at buying a bunch of cook books? Well, I actually bought some, hoping that I’d find myself productive in the kitchen during the holiday break. Sadly though, while the “buying” happened, the “cooking” didn’t. Haha. Unless you can call helping out and getting instructions from my Mom while in the kitchen “cooking”, that is. Boo.
I think I was successful though, making this no-bake preaches and cream cake (more popularly known as “refrigerator cake”, which is kind of weird if you would ask me because I think the term “refrigerator cake” is grammatically incorrect). See, the plan is to learn to cook backwards. Dessert first. Then main course. Then appetizer. (I’ll get to the real meal later, okay, boyfriend??). Okay, shutap nao.
What I like about this yummy dessert is, you don’t have to be an expert to do it. Here are the ingredients you will need. (Disclaimer: No one’s paying me to endorse these product brands.)
4 Nestle All Purpose Cream; 2 cans of Nestle Cream; 1 can of condensed milk (not in the picture); 1 pack of Grayham crackers; 1 pack of crushed Grayhams; 1 big can of Del Monte Sliced Peaches.
So.. ready? Make a no-bake peaches and cream cake in 5 easy steps. :)
Mine was fast, I almost didn’t notice it. (I mean, I only noticed it now that I’m back in the office like a zombie after the pseudo Christmas break — I swear, I go like, “man that was fast” every now and then). It was different, to say the least, as it was our first Christmas without Dad. Like I said before, there will always be that empty seat, and I will always miss my Dad especially in occasions such as this. There’s a combination of sadness and joy remembering last Christmas, yes, but I’m thankful because I feel as if there’s some sort of a force-field around me this Christmas season, protecting me from any depressive attacks due to excessively missing my Dad, thus making this Christmas tear-less for me. God is good.
Anyway. I know it’s three days too late to be making yet again another Christmas list, but whatdaheck, Christmas happens only once, you can never have enough lists. So even though Christmas has come and gone already, here’s an addition to my beyond-budget Christmas wishlist (which I probably won’t be able to get myself UNTIL next Christmas, haha). Not that I’m complaining, really. I’m happy enough completing my shopping list, and giving away gifts for everyone. There’s much greater joy in that. :)
But of course, beyond the material things, one needs to have wishes that are.. intangible.
So this Christmas, I wish..
..to have a sense of direction, to decipher the road signs being sent my way and take the right turns and course of action without wasting time;
..to have the courage to do what should be done — to get out of my comfort zone if need be, or to have the patience to stay if it’s not yet time to go;
..to have peace of mind even in times when I can’t see what’s at the end of the road;
..to be more trusting and less pessimistic, to talk less and listen more, to plan less and act more;
..to have more time doing the things I love, at my own pace, at my own time.
..to be mindful of the more important things in this life — investments, relationships, family, the people I love, God;
..to be able to support more missionaries, holistic ministries and outreaches, both financially and in prayers;
..to have a fruitful coming year, after all I’ll be turning 25;
..to spend more time with my family.
..to go places.
..with you.
I’m talking in riddles again, I know. But, well, these are my heart’s desires. I pray God desires these for me too. ;)
As an end to this post, here’s a song that I always love playing even when it’s not December (composed by Kuya Reeve, a dear friend, and sung by Sheila Juan, one of my girlfriends from college), which I post now because December’s almost over, and I don’t want to wait another 12 months before I could have a chance to share it with you guys. Hehe.
Now if I would dedicate this song to anyone, I’d dedicate it to you (yes, Bud, you), because you know there’s no other person I’d love to wake up next to in the next Christmasses to come; and to everyone else whose hearts are full of hope, ehem. I wish you find joy and love this Christmas in the simplest of things. :) Enjoy the rest of the holidays, everyone! :)
Once upon a time, there was me, waiting for "happily ever after" to happen. Hi, I'm Riz. This is my life, mush and all. Don't say you weren't warned. ;)
