On my walls, I would write…

..HOME.

(Uhm, yes. On all four walls. Heh.)

Then maybe the place would start to feel like it.

(Also, if there’s more space, I’d scribble little hearts. And question marks.)

OT: Thank you, girlfriends, for the gorgeous night. Will upload photos tomorrow. <3

Meet Echo, Ico’s new baby
(and newly discovered strategy to women’s hearts, heh!)

I remember saying I’d get one from Christine’s next litter of Shih Tzu pups. Sadly, my contract at the new place I’m staying in says, “no four-legged pets allowed.” Life’s not fair. :(

I guess I’m gona have to settle with Echo’s occasional visits to the office then. (ICOOO!!)

What is love. *bitter pill overdose*

Love sucks. Love hurts. It’s confusing. It’s oftentimes deceiving. It makes you clingy, always wanting, always needing. It makes you forget about yourself, robbing you off your individuality, and blinding you with warmfuzzyblahs and hope and wishfulthinkings.

But what sucks even more is.. however frustrating this thing called love is, and inspite of everything that makes it suck, you know that at the end of the day, you’d still choose to love and be loved. Losers.

Fine, Joshua has a more optimistic way of putting it. I wish I thought of saying that first. ;)

Meanwhile, Riz’s attempt at love, age 25 = RIP. I’m lighting a candle. Join me watch it burn? :P

SPONSORED POST. Filipina Web Designer / CSS Goddess. (Haha, Mae.) Also, PHOTO by Poppy Smiles.

5 different apartments in 2 years, take that!

Actually, I was still (kindof) enjoying going home to Caloocan and sharing my Mom’s bed with her (I had to do this for a week). I didn’t realize, though, how unbelievably messy I could be until one late morning in Caloocan, when I woke up in the middle of this *points to picture*, and found my Mom sleeping near the edge of her bed. I knew right then that I had no time to lose — I needed to spare my Mom from this mess.

Moving to the new place was no different, at least for the first night. I slept in the middle of a room full of moving boxes, but in spite of the mess, the place felt like home. :)

Even more now that everything’s right where it should be.

So yay, I found my home-away-from-home, and this time, I’m confident it will be for good. (What with that one year contract, and the expensive rent, I’ll sure make the most out of this, heh!) :)

Man I’m getting old.

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Googling the few lines I remembered, I found out that the song was “Dance with My Father Again” by a certain Tamyra Gray. Clicked Limewire. Searched. Downloaded. In a few minutes I had the song looped in iTunes.

It probably goes without saying that there was a lot of tears involved while this was happening. Being alone in the condo/apartment which I just recently moved in to (will blog more about this in a bit), it was easier to just cry that time (than hold back), get it over and done with, and be ready to smile again for when my Mom and kuya picked me up.

Father’s Day has passed again. I didn’t anticipate that I would be sentimental about it, but just like last year, there was this inevitable longing to have someone to hug and say, “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy, I love you” to. The traditional Father’s Day tribute at church had once again made me hide my swollen eyes under my sunglasses.

There’s not a day that I don’t miss Daddy, and there are moments, such as celebrating Father’s Day, and hearing songs such as “Dance with my Father Again”, when the pain of (physically) losing him just tugs deep into my heart again. And I’m little by little learning to accept that this is how it’s going to be the rest of my life.

(Following Liz’s lead, however late.) Here’s for you, Dad. :)

Also, my one wish, encapsulated in the few lines of this song: “If I could steal one final glance, One final step, one final dance with him, I’d play a song that would never, ever end, How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again..”

Dance with my Father Again sung by Tamyra Gray

If I may trace my flying misadventures, it all began in Legazpi where I spent a few days with USAP’s marketing mancomm last month. By the way, I almost forgot how much I enjoyed flying. I mean, seriously, while Mikey looked like he was gona puke the entire 30-minute trip, my only concern was how to get his face off the view so I can get a glimpse of the clouds (the bastard got the window seat, loser). Anyway. Point is, I enjoyed flying, in spite them saying how turbulent the flight was. And I’m really looking forward to the next opportunity I could get to fly.

Okay, wait, pictures first.

Marc, Francis, Rico, Ely, Mikey, Alvin and Mel

..and me, of course.

Sooo TGIS, I know right.

Anyway. Here’s where all the “bad luck” started flooding in.

I was scheduled to go back to Manila one day ahead of everyone, only I didn’t anticipate that I could take my horrid habit of oversleeping to that unfamiliar city, hence, missed my 7am flight. So I paid the no-show and adjustment fees, rebooked for the 11am flight but, lo and behold, missed it again because I was so stupid I thought I booked for the 1pm flight, not 11am. Stoooopidd, yes. And because that was the last flight back to Manila that day, I had no choice but to reschedule and fly back with the rest of the team the next day.

It’s all good, though, because I got time to visit the Cagsaua Church and a few other spots in Legazpi, as well as spend the last night in a secluded beach in Sorsogon with our wonderful wonderful colleagues there. Blessing in disguise you say? :)

Point is, I ended the Legazpi trip with a P2,800 worth of scrapbook material in the form of my TWO(!!) canceled Cebu Pacific plane tickets. Blpht, that would have sent me to another destination (like Cebu maybe) and back. Loser.

Last week, I missed a few more flights. (Manila to LA to Seattle back to LA to New York and back to Manila). Let’s not compute how much that costed now shall we? I hope the people in the USAP office (in Carson) were able to refund those tickets, or else I’d die of remorse. :(

“All for a purpose,” everyone keeps telling me. And now I think I may have already figured out why. Everyday I become more convinced that it’s not “bad luck” that I missed all those flights. It just feels too coincidental that God must have a hand on it. He’s always full of surprises, anyway.

Hmm. Sliding doors? I’d like to think so. I guess flying can wait. :)

(This post I unearthed from my drafts, just because in my moment of reflection, I remembered that I should be heading back to Manila from LA tomorrow, ending my supposed 10-day US trip. Blpht. I have a few more unfinished posts there, wait.)

But one of the cool things about being 25 is perhaps, the illusion that you really are a grown-up now. (No, I’m not sure I was ever regarded as a “grown-up” when I was 24. Hah!)

“We’re grown-ups now, and it’s our turn to decide what that means.” Yeah! :P

Yep, no one would dare tell you you’re “too young” for something when you’re 25. (Except maybe too young to die? Hmm.) But well, 25 years is a lot of years, I know right. I was thinking of blogging about 25 things I learned on my 25th year, or 25 places I want to go to this year, or 25 items in my shopping list, or 25 gifts I received.. but gaah, 25 is just too many now for this lazy blogger that I am. Sorry naman.

So let me just make kwento about how I spent my 25th birthday. :)

Ironically, while it was my official grand entrance to the world of quarter-life, I ended up celebrating a pink day in the office (which kind of reminds me of Disney princess, lol), and a Mcdonald’s kiddie party with my most favorite kids in the world. Not too grown-up, eh? :)

The first one was a surprise — my team came to work in pink, and because I was overwhelmed by the pinkness that they were, we had boxes of pizza delivered in the afternoon. Thanks guys, I’ve never seen that much pink in my life it’s.. sickening. :))

USAP’s SEO-Internet Marketing Department in Pink

The second one was rather impulsive — (accidentally) passing by Mcdonalds two days before my birthday, I decided to book a kiddie party right there and then. I’ve always wanted one but I didn’t really plan on having it this year. But now I realize that it was definitely the best time to do it. I would have invited my friends too, but I thought it would be more meaningful to share it with kids, specifically those who have not experienced being in one before. So I invited them:

Here are the boys from SBC’s Street Children Ministry

My Dad loved these kids. Some of them are homeless, some have families in the urban poor areas in Manila, some don’t even know who their parents are. The smile on their faces is undoubtedly the best gift I’ve ever received. :)

My bible study group was there too, full support yay :)

..and of course teh whole family. Still missing Daddy, but we know he’s always with us. :)

So yep, that was my 25th birthday. Couldn’t have spent it any other way. I guess if there’s one thing I learned that day, it would be acknowledging that one can’t really live alone and independent from anyone — and still be genuinely happy. Life is simply not worth living if you don’t have people to share it with.

I’ve experienced independence (to some extent), and sometimes I enjoy being in solitude too. But to go through this journey without family and friends backing you up, or without someone holding your hand and giving you everything-is-going-to-be-alright hugs when you need them, or without a God who’s in control of even the littlest details in your life.. ugh, living is simply impossible. Thank God He allowed me to have all these. Thank God that I didn’t have to go through the past 25 years, and that I won’t have to go through the next 25 years, by myself.

Happy Birthday to me. :)

Segue: Interested to have a Mcdonald’s kiddie party in the Philippines? Details after the jump. ;)

Mcdonalds Kiddie Party in the Philippines (May 2008, subject to change)
P2,000 (downpayment), this should cover the give aways and game prizes.
P147.00 (with happy meal toy) or P117.00 food packages, per head.
+ Free mascot appearance (of your choice and/or upon availability of the mascots)
+ Free party host services

Available in all Mcdonalds outlet nationwide.

But that is, until yesterday, when THIS was delivered to me. Waah. :)

Yup, that’s right. There’s my ticket to one whole week of Hillsong bliss at the Acer Arena, happening on July 7-11 of this year.

But of course, I’m still not even halfway through making it. It’s just that teh boyfriend and I registered for the early-bird promo around November last year, so I’ve been getting all these mails since the start of the year — (1) confirmation letter of my registration and full-payment, (2) support document for my visa application, and (3) just yesterday, the ticket to the Hillsong Nights which comes free to those who registered.

Just the sight of my ticket, and my very own seat (well, at least the seat number), has kept me elated until now. So.. up next, Australian visa application. I just hope my fingerprints starts to cooperate already. Uggh, the fingerprints? That’s another story.

Come to think of it, whatever happens within the next 60 days — I know for sure that in the long run, I can smile and be happy with the fact that I got this far. :)

In the spirit of delayed mother’s day greetings, I uploaded more pics here. :)
Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy. You’re super. As always.

It’s true what we often hear them say (especially in our younger years when we seem to enjoy fighting with them all the time, heh) — someday, we’ll understand what they do for our own good, and appreciate their role in our lives. I guess that “someday” has come to me now.

So hey.. in behalf of those who, at some point in their lives, shut their doors to their moms’ faces, I raise the white flag in humble defeat. They’re right. They do know what’s best.

Happy Mother’s day to all moms out there. :)

I can name two people who loved (will love) this scene. Three, if you count me. It’s nice to see Brooke and Lucas in a different level of friendship now, considering the failure of their on-screen and real-life love story. (Hmm, could it still be..?) Even more so, it’s nice to see how much these characters have grown, and how their lives have changed in a way that’s so familiar you can almost feel their pain, and struggles, and joy, even from the other side of the TV screen.

Lucas, Brooke, and Little Angie

Brooke: Do you ever want to go back? I remember being sixteen, and everything just seemed much easier. Would you do it differently?

Lucas: I’d try to appreciate the things I took for granted. But I think we have to go through all these stuff you know, to get to the places we want to be.

“Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you.. it’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, you have your big plans — to find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize that it’s not always that easy.” Well, there goes Lucas Scott’s VO for you.

It reminded me of that open letter I blogged more than a year ago. (How bitter can my bachelorette life be! Heh!) Don’t get me wrong, I’m turning quarter-of-a-hundred in a few weeks, and I actually love how this life is turning out to be, complexities and all.

But it’s really just easier to WANT to grow up until you come to a point where everything just flies by too fast, and bills start piling up, and responsibilities start getting bigger and bigger. Suddenly, you hear your younger self lobbying inside you, complaining about still being too young to handle too much grown-up stuff. Missing what used to be, and wishing you’re back to that time when life is simpler, are just some of the things you expect to happen frequently as you grow older.

A while ago, we finished packing up our 7-month worth of mess. Tomorrow In a few hours, Ivy and I will be moving to a new apartment, and I’ll be saying buhbye to Aster after two melodramatic years together in the lalaland of Ortigas. (I’m gonna miss her terribly. *sniff*)

I’m starting to master the art of moving from one place of residence to another already. This is the fourth, in a span of about 2 years, and I’m hoping this move will be the last for me. Hopefully, the next one will involve packing up 20+ years worth of mess, and moving to a place big enough to build a family in.

Err. Okay, that may be a little too advanced to think about at this point but whatdahek. Grown-up stuff, you know.