// Quarter Life Monologues

In the spirit of tradition, here’s another delayed hallmark greeting. :P (I’m an expert at being late.)

Anyway, exactly a year ago, I posted something with the same title. Now, I’m re-using it not because I can’t think of anything else but because after all these years, she’s still super. :)

They say, if you’re a guy and you want to see how it’s like to be with a girl for the rest of your life, go see her Mom. More often than not, she’ll eventually end up like her, looks and all. In my case, I find that hard to believe, because (1) my Mom’s always composed, I stutter all the time; (2) she always remembers, I always forget; (3) she’s a great cook, I can only make scrambled eggs and instant pancit canton; (4) she’s a very strong woman (I’ve probably seen her cry about 5 times my whole life) and I, meanwhile, cry over the littlest of things (like a sappy movie, or a senti song, or a sick hamster); (5) she knows what she wants and she makes it happen, when I’m indecisive and coward most of the time.

I could list down a few dozens more, but I’ll stop here. The thing is, if indeed the theory was true, (that eventually, I’ll end up like my Mom), then yay for me. Looks like I’m going to have a bright future, after all. :P

I’m not the only one who wonders how my Mom manages to be strong and keep on with her life gracefully in spite of (physically) losing Daddy. Whenever I ask her how she does it, she would simply quote a Bible verse about God being the strength of her heart, or about finding peace in His promises, or of trusting Him even in times when she don’t understand. I told you, she’s super. I mean, it’s one thing knowing and saying these basic truths, another thing to really hold on to them and make them your lifestyle everyday. She’s amazing.

One thing for sure, if I get to have my own kids, I’d want to raise them the way my Mom (and my Dad) raised us up. Except that I’d probably allow my daughter to have a boyfriend at 18, unlike, uhm, them. Haha. (I’m not bitter okay.) Ultimately, I’d love it if one day, I’d hear my kids say that they’d want to be like me, too. (Gaah. I have to start working on that one now.)

Hey Mom, I love that life is easier because you’re always there. I love that you have no choice but to be here for us when we need you (and even if we seem like we don’t), hehe, because that’s the kind of Mom you are. And I love that I don’t have to wonder how life is gona be like without you because, well, you’ve always been around.

Thank you for being the Super Mom that you are, and for imparting to us your genes, which gives us the potentials to be super too.

Happy Birthday Mommy! I love you.

Dear Daddy,

Hi! I didn’t cry today! Proud of me? :) Er, except for that one time when Ninong Dave prayed over lunch, and, well, I’m sure you heard his prayer (thanking God for another year, and for all those people He brought into my life, and all the blessings, and well, the rest I won’t blog anymore because they’re un-bloggable and of course you already know them hehe). Did you see how all of us were giggling while we prayed? Was God laughing too when He was listening to us? :D So okay, I cried a bit there. But I don’t think that should even be considered as “crying” because I was just teary-eyed. You saw how I was able to hold the tears back and dry my eyes before everyone else opened theirs? Pretty clever huh. :)

I miss you, Daddy, today most especially. This morning, I woke up and found my mobile blinking with 27 text messages, waiting to be opened. 27, Daddy, 27!! You see how many people remembered? Not counting pa those who texted before I fell sleep the night before, and those who texted and called during the day! I am soo loved. But as I went through the texts and replied to each of them one after the other, I couldn’t help but wish I received a text message from you too. I can imagine it now. It would just be the usual, and you’d still be sending it even though you were just in the other room, or even when you already personally greeted me. It would simply say “hapy bday nak! luv u!“. But it would mean the world to me.

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As if reading old blog posts was not enough, I found myself reading random pages from my old journals too. And then I found this one journal entry I wrote 2 years ago, on May 1, 2005. It was my Mom and Dad’s 31st anniversary then, and apparently, it was a few days after Dad was released from the hospital following his heart surgery.

Thirty one years of being together, whoa. I can only imagine their joy now that their love was able to survive a series of trials, and tears, and fears, and tests. Today was indeed a time to celebrate as their 31-year-old vow — the one which says, “for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health..” — was made real right before their and everyone else’s eyes.

Dad’s heart surgery (and our fear that we could lose him anytime) is surely a part of a plan grander than anything we could think of. Perhaps, God, the Great Author of love and romance, planned to make this year’s anniversary more memorable, sweeter even.

Someday, if God wills, I’ll get to make that vow too.. and perhaps, a time will come when God will make that vow real before my eyes as well.. And if that happens, I shall look back to Mommy and Daddy’s love story, knowing full well that God has been the One writing the script and orchestrating the plot.

Someday, I’ll have my own love story to tell too.

There goes your 21 year old Rhiz. (Eek!) A lot has changed since then, of course (I must have become bitter and cynical along the way hehe), but one cannot deny that in a world where breakups, and failed marriages, and broken families are staple, you still hope of a love story worth telling your grandchildren of.

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One death was more than enough for a family to bear, what more 32 young lives to the whole State of Virginia — including thousands of dreams that came with each life.

It’s quite disturbing to know that the guy who was responsible for the, by far, worst mass killing in the whole of United States was a 23 year old Asian (my age), who, quite obviously, kept a lot of angst and confusion in his heart while he was still alive. More than hating him for what he did, I feel sorry that he had to live and end his life that way.

Like Xai, I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately, and how it should be more of a celebration (of life) rather than grieving for the loss. Xai said in her blog (and I quote coz I couldn’t have said it any better):

Come to think of it, life and death are two inseparable extremes. What bridges them is an eternally debated concept of a greater power [yes, greater than the big bang]. Death is reflective of the kind of life you lead. Similarly, life is an image on the kind of death you perceive.

Life is more than being the absence of death because for some people living means dying and dying is living. Point is, they’re so correlated, and you can’t have one without the other.

The tragic Virginia Tech Massacre is another lesson learned for all of us. While some are saying that the Columbine Massacre should have warned us already, and security should have been given more attention to, this recent tragedy is ultimately beyond our control. To celebrate life each day as if it’s our last, to say “I love you” to those we love while we still can, to make a difference in the lives of those people God sends our way, and to reach out to those who feel unloved — perhaps these are the real lessons to be learned from all of these.

On April 30, this blog will take part in the One Day Blog Silence, in honor of the victims of the Virginia Tech Tragedy. You might want to join too. All you have to do is spread the word about it and post the graphic on your blog on 30th April 2007. No words and no comments. Just respect, reflect and empathy.

Navigate to Onedayblogsilence.com to know more. Or see who is also writing about this @ Technorati.

I’ve said a lot, but they’re not enough:

• I love you Daddy
• Last Day with Dad (repost)
• A Song for Daddy (song composed by Mikks)
• Thank You from the Sanchezes

And then there are people who helped me by sharing their own testimonies/stories too:

• Ang Hindi Malilimutang Bigote by Marian
• I Cried by Hobbes
• Let the Tears Flow by Xaris
• In Memory of our Pastor Bob by Pat
• A Tribute to Our Great Pastor by Ninong Dave for
• Pastor Bob’s Last Night by Ninong Dave
• Goodnight Pastor Bob by Ninong Dave
• Being Still (To Rhiza) by Sheila

Thanks, everyone. Reading your blogs brought me (and my family) enormous amount of comfort and joy. Thank you. I’m sure, somewhere up there, Dad’s smiling and reading your blogs too.

P.S. You posted something about my Daddy too but it’s not here? Let me know so I can send you some link love. ♥