I Miss
I miss a lot of things. I miss blogging what’s on my mind without worrying if someone will think that my posts are too icky or too unprofessional. (Fine, I miss blogging, period.) I miss pasting receipts, candy wrappers, and movie tickets on my journal, and trying to record moments in writing so I could easily look back.
I miss wandering aimlessly in a foreign place, getting lost, and figuring out my way back by counting hotdog stands. I miss listening to the sounds of a busy subway, and watching people walk their dogs in Central Park. I miss enjoying the sight a *real* cruise ship, and watching the sun set over Darling Harbor while munching on fish and chips with people you love. I miss taking pictures of everything and nothing in particular, and spending hours post-processing my shots.
And then sometimes, I miss myself. Which I used to think was bad. But now, in the course of missing myself, this whole picture of who I *really* am, and who I want to be becomes even more clear in my head.
Icky, all of this, sure. But hey, I’m not scared to be myself anymore. I’m 25 and life’s too short to worry about what other people think. From now on, that’s who I’m going to be — myself. And let me start by being reacquainted with the things I miss.
Oh hai, 2009. I think you and I are going to be good friends. I’m excited to get to know you. :)
violet said,
January 28, 2009 @ 8:30 am
And I miss proof-reading your blog entries.. It’s good that you’re back to your self riz. BTW, check out the third sentence of your last paragraph. :) A lot of people miss you too, not just you. :)
romzkeepomski said,
January 28, 2009 @ 10:30 am
These things really occur when you’re in the quarter life stage, I guess.
Well, good luck to you friend. Enjoy the journey!
mae said,
January 28, 2009 @ 10:49 am
*hugs* I miss blogging about stupid stuff as well without worrying whether I’m being too shallow or what. And I suddenly realized how much I missed slowing down.
Tara, let’s enjoy 2009! :D
riz said,
January 28, 2009 @ 1:28 pm
Heyy thanks! :)
lovelle said,
January 28, 2009 @ 1:53 pm
miss ya RHIZ. :)
im glad your back. im kinda getting sick of your moon is sad over sydney entry. haha.
*hugs*
Amanda said,
January 28, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
Do I ever hear ya.
Your second paragraph reminds me of the first time I was alone at an airport by myself. My local flight led me to Charlotte before I was to take off for the Seattle-bound flight. There I was, 19 years old, on my own for the first time, with my backpack on, a purse across my body and a camera dangling from my neck. I had my family back home waiting for my return and my best friend in Seattle waiting on my arrival. It was a glorious place to be–between two places where I was wanted and expected. Yet I could step out from the terminal and into a cab and whisk myself away and no one would be the wiser where I had gone. It was the truest sense of freedom I’ve ever tasted in my life.
I miss that. Now I’m a few years older with a full-time job, my own car, pay all my bills + my dad’s, yet I do nothing but go to work and then come home again. Tomorrow I’ll wake up at 4:30 am to go back to work. I was penniless at 19 but now I have some savings. I keep storing money away for the future, but part of me keeps wondering, “why?”
Anyways, you’ve taken the words right out of my own heart. Welcome to 2009.
What Freedom Tastes Like — A Ghost of Daisies said,
January 28, 2009 @ 2:51 pm
[...] My comment over at the Quarter Life Monologue’s latest entry: [...]
riz said,
January 29, 2009 @ 12:28 am
Quarterlife, yep, guilty. :) Good luck to all of us!
riz said,
January 29, 2009 @ 12:29 am
Yep. 2009 is our year, maemae, I can feel it! :)
riz said,
January 29, 2009 @ 12:29 am
Haha Lovelle. Sorry naman. :) I’ll see you again soon :)
riz said,
January 29, 2009 @ 12:32 am
Beautifully written. Thanks for the thoughts, Amanda — we’re not alone. :)
Joni said,
January 29, 2009 @ 1:03 am
Don’t let other people get you down and stop you from doing the things you want to do. In a word, “deadma”! Hehe.
Mwah. Mishu.
bheng said,
January 29, 2009 @ 5:01 pm
I remember the same exact feeling I had a couple of months ago. I missed a lot of things–living life and enjoying life in general. Hence, my career shift.
Doing things that you miss the most boils down to one thing: contentment! Glad you’re on your way there. Happy for you, Riz. :)
richard said,
February 8, 2009 @ 7:17 am
hey there! i am a frequent blog-hopper and stumbled on what seems to be a popular Filipino travel blog but with atheistic posts… coconuter ang tawag sa kanya ( http://blog.coconuter.org )… basahin mo yung “The Catholic Ordination of the Filipino” and “The Philippine Insurrection and the American War Prayer.” What do you think about his thoughts?
-chard