// Quarter Life Monologues

I wish I blogged more when I was there. Sure, I flooded my Multiply contacts’ inboxes with truckloads of photos, and I betcha, I can still retell the places I’ve been to and the events that transpired in my entire trip (in chronological order, take that). But still, I wish I journal-ed more. I can recall how it felt to be there, but I often wish that years from now, I could still have a way of remembering things a bit more vividly because I know that soon enough, everything would start to be blurry.

So everyday since I got back in Manila three weeks ago, I would click on the Write tab in my wordpress dashboard and stare at the blank space where my most favorite New York moments should have been, transcribed in words. I would browse through the unorganized clutter of photos (thousands of them) in my macbook, and flip through them for hours, and if that ain’t enough, I’d Google random New York images OR cyber-walk around Manhattan on Street View.

I’m not sure if it’s really New York that I miss or the feeling of being in a fabulus and foreign place. Then again, I could always compare New York to California (because California is also a fabulous and foreign place) and still say with all my heart that it is definitely NEW YORK (specifically, Manhattan) that I miss.

I mean, I watched High School Musical three-freakin-times, and my favorite has always been Ryan and Sharpay’s production number, I Want It All. (And if you’ve seen the film, you should know what I’m talking about.) Gossip Girl has become an important part of my week — it is imperative that I get my weekly dose. Little mentions of places in New York make my heart skip a beat, as if it has grown an additional artery that’s extra NY-sensitive.

I miss New York every single day. I miss watching the weather forecast early in the morning, to know whether or not to put my Suede coat on. I miss the subways and the sound of the train’s love affair with the rails as if music to the ears. (My ipod has always accompanied me everywhere I walk, but I had to take it away walking around Manhattan because I wanted to hear everything.)

I dare not say I fell in love with New York, because the last person I know who said those words left his wonderful life in Manila in exchange for uncertainty — to start a whole new life in a place where change is more constant than anywhere else in the world, and to live there for good.

Well, I’m not that obssessed yet. :)

I guess to me, New York will never be/feel like home, exactly why I long to be back there — to be away from home as I know it, and to experience more of the unknown as much as I can, while I still can.