Love Letter
Dear Daddy,
Hi! I didn’t cry today! Proud of me? :) Er, except for that one time when Ninong Dave prayed over lunch, and, well, I’m sure you heard his prayer (thanking God for another year, and for all those people He brought into my life, and all the blessings, and well, the rest I won’t blog anymore because they’re un-bloggable and of course you already know them hehe). Did you see how all of us were giggling while we prayed? Was God laughing too when He was listening to us? :D So okay, I cried a bit there. But I don’t think that should even be considered as “crying” because I was just teary-eyed. You saw how I was able to hold the tears back and dry my eyes before everyone else opened theirs? Pretty clever huh. :)
I miss you, Daddy, today most especially. This morning, I woke up and found my mobile blinking with 27 text messages, waiting to be opened. 27, Daddy, 27!! You see how many people remembered? Not counting pa those who texted before I fell sleep the night before, and those who texted and called during the day! I am soo loved. But as I went through the texts and replied to each of them one after the other, I couldn’t help but wish I received a text message from you too. I can imagine it now. It would just be the usual, and you’d still be sending it even though you were just in the other room, or even when you already personally greeted me. It would simply say “hapy bday nak! luv u!“. But it would mean the world to me.
Did you see when I made that wish that it would rain on my birthday? It did! It rained, Daddy! God must really love me, huh? :) And the rain was just right too. It wasn’t just drizzling, and it wasn’t stormy either — it was just enough to send us back indoors and sit by the glass window and watch the raindrops fall down from the sky to the leaves, to the grass, to the window sill. And when the sun started to shine again, the sky was painted with lovely hues of pink and orange, as if it was designed especially for me. You would have enjoyed a day of rest and relaxation at Fontana with us, Dad! And the food, and the coffee (on a rainy day), and the street badminton session, and the pink clouds.
Were you mad that I drove your car when Mom was sleeping? Did you watch me? Were you scared that I would smash it right to the wall or to another car? I know you didn’t want us to drive your car Daddy, hehe, sorry! But you see, I got it back in one piece! Not a single scratch, promise! All parts still intact. :) Don’t worry, Dad, I’m a grown up now. Of course I’m still your little girl, I’ll always be, but I’m 24 now. Your car’s safe with me. And don’t worry, it’s still Mom’s. But.. can I borrow it once in a while? :) The other car’s NOT so fun to drive around with anymore eh. :P
God’s blessed me with a wonderful life, Daddy. And He has done it wonderfully through you and Mom. Thanks for being the best Dad all 23 years of my life, and even until now. We’re back in Caloocan now, and I’m on your side of the bed, beside Mom. She’s sleeping already, and it’s raining again. She’s amazing, Daddy. She’s doing her best to be strong for me, for us. I don’t want her to see me cry anymore. Specially not on my birthday. She wants me to be happy today, more than anything.
But I can’t hold back the tears anymore, Daddy. I miss you. It breaks my heart that I won’t get to spend my birthdays with you ever again. I wish I could go back to those days when life was simpler. When you were there to tell me bedtime stories and tuck me in at night, and drive me to school in the mornings, and buy me ice cream on my birthdays, and ground me when I get home late, or scold me when I mess up, and tell me you love me and that you’re proud of me even when I make mistakes. I’m scared to be 24 without you, Daddy.
But I know that even if you’re up there already, you’re looking down on me and watching me whenever you can. And I know that if you could, you’d give me a big hug right now, and wipe my tears away, and tell me everything’s going to be alright. And you’d whisper to me, “Be still, sweetie, and know that He is God. Just love Him well and everything will be well..”
Thank you, Daddy. I’m 24 now but I’m still your little girl. Watch me, Daddy. I’m going to make you proud of me.
♥, Riz
noemi said,
May 21, 2007 @ 10:10 pm
I was so close to my dad too. I often “talk” to my dad myself. I know they don’t want us to cry or be unhappy. But grief is the price of love. Because your love is so great, and his death is so fresh, you can’t help but miss your dad and cry in the process. It’s alright to cry. Your dad knows how much you miss him. However, I don’t think he wants you to be weepy all day. Take care, riz.
liz said,
May 21, 2007 @ 10:45 pm
belated happy birthday riz! wishing you all the wisdom, strength and happiness!
Tina said,
May 22, 2007 @ 12:48 am
Awww. Naluha ako. :) I’m close to my dad too, especially (and ironically) now that he has to work overseas. I always feel secure whenever I’m with him and whenever something troubles me and I tell him about it, when he says it’s going to be alright, I know it will be because it came from him. :)
Haha okay naluluha ulit ako. :P Belated happy birthday Riz. :) I’m sure your dad is proud of you, and I bet he’s thanking God for you up there too. God bless!
Joni said,
May 22, 2007 @ 1:47 am
Waaah. :’(
I’m sure naiiyak na si Tito Bob ngayon at paulit-ulit nya tong binabasa! :) hehe. ano kaya Internet connection nila dun no? wifi kaya? hihi!
Belated Happy Birthday Riz! Wish I was there on your birthday celebration, I’m sure it was fun! Mwah! Love you.
Jeric said,
May 22, 2007 @ 4:17 am
I am not close with my dad because he left very early (no he’s not dead). But this one, it’s very touching and made me wish I have a good dad as yours. :( Belated Happy Birthday, again!
Arnold Gamboa said,
May 22, 2007 @ 4:22 am
Hi Riz,
Your love for your dad is contagious. Makes me want to hug my dad now. :)
Happy birthday!
Jam said,
May 22, 2007 @ 7:08 am
Aww…*tears* naiyak ako.
I’m sure, tito bob is proud of u.:)
tarits said,
May 22, 2007 @ 4:10 pm
i’m a papa’s girl too, and your letter makes me want to rush back home and give my papa a hug.
kaw nalang muna ihug ko *akap ng mahigpit*
belated po.
karen said,
May 23, 2007 @ 5:06 am
belated happy birthday riz…
waaah… naiiyak ako…
haayz…hope ko sana happy ka on your day. pero for sure yun..dahil madami nagmamahal sa iyo. :)
labshu riz. miss na po kita. :)
marian said,
May 23, 2007 @ 7:35 am
i didn’t want to visit your blog on your bday because i expected a post like this and i know it’ll be cry-worthy. shoot, i expected right :p brave girl, riz :) you deserved all those fuzzy feelings during your bday. too bad i couldn’t come along. but hey, it rained :)
Riz said,
May 23, 2007 @ 11:16 pm
Thanks guys. *grouphug* :)
bheng said,
May 24, 2007 @ 3:21 am
rhiz, belated happy birthday. wish we could have another round of drinking session. ahaha. God Bless. Love yah. mwah!
Cathy said,
May 25, 2007 @ 1:21 am
Hi Riz, this entry really spoke to me! Noemi and I were just talking about our fathers the other day. It is hard to lose your dad when you are young – you carry it with you forever. Your post has inspired me to blog about my dad just now and that I will do. You may also want to visit my other blog http://www.mourningtojoy.blogspot.com I have a piece there on losing one’s father. I’m pretty sure it will resonate with you too…
Cathy said,
May 25, 2007 @ 1:23 am
Oh and now I understand why you are so compassionate and filled with wisdom – it’s because you have known loss so very early in life. When you allow loss to transform you, that is it’s gift- a kinder, more compassionate heart. Belated Happy Birthday Riz! I’m sure your daddy is so proud and happy as he looks down on all of you from above :)
jencc said,
May 25, 2007 @ 6:43 am
ako rin, naiyak.
you must have been very very close to your dad. my dad and i aren’t but you know, there’s a certain bond between us, like we’ll always always be there for each other. i’m trying to be more affectionate with my two boys now so that when we’re older, it won’t be difficult to say “i love you” to each other nor to hug and kiss openly.
happy birthday, riz.
Guitarchic Dot Net » Year 24, Week 1 said,
May 26, 2007 @ 9:31 am
[...] by in a breeze, leaving me with a lot of things to be thankful for, and knowing that inspite of missing my Dad more than ever, there’s no better way I could have spent it. After all, you only get 24 once. Then again, [...]
des said,
June 14, 2007 @ 9:49 am
oh, so touching! it moved me. thanks much for sharing. i’m also close to dad. your letter reminds me and us, readers, to be more loving towards our dads, and family members as well, while they are still around.
your daddy’s so proud for having a child like you. he’s watching over you.
» Dreading March 26 Guitarchic Dot Net* said,
March 11, 2008 @ 2:27 am
[...] turning 25 in a few months, but I still haven’t stopped feeling like still being too young to lose a father. I guess I’ll never stop feeling like that. Dad’s early death may have forced me to [...]
Hazel Chua said,
April 21, 2008 @ 8:29 am
This made me cry… I am now 31 and got married in February this year, when the Pastor told my dad infront of our wedding guests that from that day on, I will no longer be submitting to him because I already have my husband to submit to, I cried. I asked myself how could I leave him like that? But, life has to continue in its natural phase and course and though we mourn for ties that get cut or lives that pass on, we are blessed still for the few good things that remain as they are, such as we will always be our Daddy’s little girls.
happy birthday love letters said,
May 15, 2008 @ 6:46 pm
[...] to hug my dad now. :. happy birthday! Reply to this comment. Comment by Jam. 2007-05-22 07:08:38 …http://www.guitarchic.net/2007/05/21/love-letter-on-my-24th-birthday/Love LetterHugs, kisses, cards and love. Create your love letter … letter. Your own name E-mail. [...]
lucy said,
December 30, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
two years ago exactly this day..my father passed away…i still miss and love him very much and i will always will…love and apreciate your parents when they are alive…tell them you love them and how great they are…than it will be too late…love you daddy…i will always love you…>:D:D:D:D<