I Love You, Daddy
It was a Monday, and as always, Mom and Dad drove my brother and I to ABS-CBN where he work, and to the apartment (in Ortigas) where I stay on weekdays, respectively.
I had my laptop on in the car that time, and was excitedly explaining to Dad how I can now access the net anywhere through Globe Visibility. I’m sure Dad didn’t understand a bit of what I was saying but he nodded as if he did, and teased me about how her little girl has turned into an “anti-social geek.” At some point he even joked, “Nak bili mo rin ako ng laptop,” and in my head I was already considering the possibility.
We passed by Podium on the way, but since they were trying to catch an appointment with Daddy’s cardiologist later that afternoon, they had to drop me off earlier than usual. Mom and Dad helped me with my luggage, and the hamsters, and the laptop. Lately I’ve been thinking about how much I miss spending time with my parents and our home in Caloocan, making it a bit difficult to say goodbye to them that particular afternoon. Just before they left, my dad gave me a long hug (whenever I think about it now, I wish I held on to him much longer), and whispered, “Pakabait ka lagi ha?“, to which I automatically joked, “Of course, Dad, ako pa!“.
I went up to the apartment and watched the car leave from the veranda. For some reason, Dad rolled down the car window pa to glance up at me and shouted “Thank you!“–because earlier that day, I did him a favor by buying his cardiologist a birthday gift. Those were his last words to me. I waved goodbye and watched as the car disappeared from my view, thankful that I was blessed with such wonderful parents. Little did I know that it was going to be the last. Last time I’d ever hear my Daddy laugh. Last time I’d ever hug him. Last time I’d ever see him and my mom happy together. Last time I’d ever be with him, joke with him, laugh with him. Last time I’d ever see his smile.
That same night, while I was out with a friend at Greenhills, I had an emergency call from my brother telling me to go straight home because Daddy was rushed to the hospital. Heaviness came onto me. The taxi ride was torturous–I knew there was something seriously wrong, but I was pushing the worst scenario at the back of my mind at the same time.
When I reached the hospital, my mom and two brothers were already there, eyes swollen red, and my dad.. he was already gone.
Why? When? How? I had a lot of questions in my mind but I could only (hysterically) cry and utter the word “Daddy” over and over, as I hugged his lifeless body. He never showed signs of pain the whole day, heck, his cardiologist even released him after his check-up that afternoon, declaring that his heart was healthy, and was functioning just as it should. How could he have gone so soon? He’s just 57.
He’s my Daddy. He carried me when I was little. He taught me my first guitar chords. He prayed for me, sang with me in church, taught me a lot of things. He was there on stage with me when I received my college diploma. He texted me everyday. He gave me advices and hugs when I needed them. He was there comforting me when I had my first heartbreak, telling me to just let it out.. I remember how much easier it was for me to deal with the situation knowing that he (and mom)’s just in the next room and I could cry on his shoulder at any given time.
I’m still too young to lose a father, I’d always think. I’m just 23. I have a lifetime ahead of me, and I couldn’t imagine how it’s gona be like without my Daddy. I’ve always pictured my parents growing old together, grey-haired and all, taking care of their grand children. Dad was gona officiate my wedding (and my brothers’ too). We were going to dance to this song we both loved, Butterfly Kisses, on my wedding night. Up to now I still can’t imagine how life is going back to normal without him.
I wish I texted him more, told him I love you as much as I could, spent more time with him. I wish I paid more time and attention to the church’s website, something he’s always believed that I can do. I wish I hugged him more. There are a lot of things I wish I was able to do. I just miss my daddy so much.
But I’m not about to question God’s sovereignty above all these. Never did, never will. Our family has found peace in the simple truth that God is in control, and He allowed this to happen. Surviving a series of heart attacks within the span of two years is already a miracle, God could have taken him right there and then, two years ago, on his first attack. But He granted us a second chance to be with him longer, according to His plan.
Up to the last minute of his life, God answered my Daddy’s prayers. He always wanted to spend his last day on earth as normal as possible, without tubes and medical gadgets monitoring his heart. He didn’t want to die in a hospital room. He passed away without pain, in my Mommy’s arms.
My Dad’s in a better place now–no more pain, no more heart failures, no more disappointments. I’ll always miss my Dad, but I know, in my heart, he will always be. Once in a while I would still cry, and it’s as if everyone around me has given me the freedom to do so, no questions asked. Sometimes it’s easier to just lock myself up and forget that the world moves on regardless if I move on with it or not. I know eventually I will be okay, just give me more time.
Of course there are those people who are there for our family althroughout this ordeal. Thank you to all of you who have sent their prayers and condolences, to those who sent flowers, texts, emails, and to those who took time to be at my Daddy’s wake. You are all God-sent. A heart-felt thanks goes to all of you.
I love you, Daddy. Thanks for being the best Dad in the whole world.
I’ll always miss you.. But I know you’re happy where you are now.
You’ll always be in my thoughts, and in my heart.. I’m not afraid anymore.
Roberto V. Sanchez Jr.
November 9, 1949 - March 26, 2007
Sigh. Condolence. I lost my Mom when I was 10 and it’s really hard.
Riz,
I’m hugging you right now…
You were the apple of your Daddy’s eye - kaya lagi twinkling ang eyes nya :) And I am sure that he and your Mom are so proud to have raised such a beautiful daughter like you.
Yes, our good God is always sovereign and in control - in that we can always be secure and find our comfort.
Love you, Ate Dots
My sympathies, and condolences to you and your family.
My father passed away when I was 19, and I can fully understand what you are going though. The pain of losing a father never goes away, it hardly fades either, even over time. Always remember him and cherish your memories. Your father’s spirit is always watching down on you…
I’m deeply sorry for your loss.
in God’s perfect time, in God’s perfect place, you’ll be together again.
talking about your grief is a good way to move on Rhiza, always remember that no matter what happens he’ll always be by your side? Is that creepy? I don’t think so, whenever something good happens to me I thank God and my grandparents for always looking after me. What I am getting to is that dying doesn’t mean we have actually “lost” that person, it only meant that we may never be with them again but as long as they live in our hearts and mind they will never “die”
Cheer up ha? :) I’ve always remembered you as someone who has one of the best smiles I’ve seen and I know your father will feel bad to see you being so sad, being in pain and losing that smile of yours because of him. I’m not saying don’t grieve… just make this sad event into positive thing, you know, one that will make you stronger, love the people around you even more, etc… :)
ei..just browsing, then noticed this post, i haven’t lost any special person in my life yet, but i just wanted to share this verse:
“and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” - Rom. 8
Just keep on holding on to your faith. Be strong na din for your family.
i’m sorry for your loss. i admire you for being strong, and understanding and accepting God’s will. thank you for writing your experience. i’m just another internet stranger here but i really learned from you. God bless you and your family. stay strong. :-)
rhiz, you will always have the memories. never let them go. that’s all you’ve got of him.you are blessed to have him for 23 years. i got mine for 5 years, 3 of it i dont remember. you were loved so much by your dad.love him with your memories. :) hugs
hugs and prayers for you rhiz..
thank you for sharing this, riz. im sure many sons and daughters who read this will be reminded to make the most of their time with their parents.
God keep you and your family secure in His everlasting arms…
*squeeze*
[…] the same. I still haven’t recovered from the unexpected events that transpired since, my dad’s passing away included. And then there was me changing my Friendster status from “Single” to […]
RIZ….
*hugs*
Shuuuucks. :(
I know you’ll be just fine, Riz. Pero ok lang din umiyak at malungkot.. hehe :) You’re right, your dad’s in a better place. I guess that fact alone makes everything all right. :) Now he just wants his little girl not to be sad anymore.
Hugful!! Luv u, rhizagurl! :)
Rhiza, I’m truly sorry for your loss. Even though I’ve never met your father, I know how much he meant to you. Your stories about his love and devotion to your family made me feel as though I knew him. I was in a state of disbelief and was deeply saddened when I heard the heartbreaking news. Our prayers, love and support go out to you and your family.
Hey Riz. Super nagulat ako nung nalaman ko yun news. I know it hurts to lose someone you love so much. *hug* na lang kita. :) cheer up Riz. :) He’s now sitting in a fluffy cloud up there, with God. :)
Riz,
:)
naiiyak ako sa post mo rhiz… hay… one thing im sure of, you’re dad is terribly proud of you. And you’re right, he’s in a better place now.
It looks as if things were too early to happen, but when we figure it out it’s all predestined in God’s hands… you have my prayers. you’ll be fine friendship :)
aren’t you glad you brought your camera phone everywhere? :)
waah sabi ko ‘di na ko iiyak e pero parang impossibility. your dad’s one of the finest men i know, riz. his life brings me to tears, imagine that :)
still and always, God’s will is perfect.
Tito Bob is one of the few fathers I text every Father’s day and he always have a happy reply to my texts, haay..
mamimis ko talaga si Tito Bob.
*Hugs* Kaya yan.
[…] was my first day back in the office since Dad passed away, and I wasn’t feeling well. On top of the emotional struggles I was going through, I had […]
grabeh..i can feel all your emotions in this post. i almost cried…
haay rhiz…God our Father is with you always…
Be strong..
Hug na lang kita…
Dito lang kame lage.
-Kah
[…] I love you Daddy […]
riz, dun pa tayo nagkita sa wake ng dad mo. ^_^
na touch ako. grabe.tamang tama talaga ang entry mo kasi uuwi ako ng bacolod. ill really tell my parents how much i love them.
Thanks riz! “He will never leave us nor forsake us”
i cried again. looking back at how he touched each one of us brings tears to me but all is well. its time for him to be in his happiest - in the arms of our Father.
Very touching post and thanks for sharing your faith, Riz. Whenever we lose someone dear to us, It’s a lot less painful when we have the peace that they are in the best place they can be - with the Lord.
i’m sorry for your loss riz! i lost my father when i was 17 and after 21 years, I still miss him.
honestly, I almost cried when I read what you are going through. I just want to share with you one of my favorite song of Josh Groban… I wish I could say more.
To Where You Are
Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
‘Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
Hi! How r u?
nice site!
I had a heavy heart while reading your blog. I remembered the time my mom passed away and I was miles away.My heartfelt condolence to you and your family.
we’re thinking about u here ate riz… i hope you got the poem my mom wrote about ninong bob… luv u
[…] I love you. […]
Hi I just want to say I am so sorry for your loss! I couldnt even get through your story without crying, I know alot people say I know how you feel and you are just thinking how can you say that you have no idea! I lost my daddy when I was only 16 and he was only 40! and it was almost the same story as yours we had gone to a hockey game, out to eat and then bowling like any normal day and then I went home and told him I loved him and that was the last words my dad had ever said to! It is very very very hard to lose someone you love so deeply and I was heartbroken and to this day i still am! My dad will not walk me down the aisle nor will he ever see his grandchildren I miss him so much but he is ALWAYS with me in my heart and soul and your father will always be with you where ever you go! Again I’m deeply sorry for your loss!
Hello! I got your blog address from my good friend Cathy Guballa. I lost my father almost seven months ago and I teared while reading this entry. I feel okay most of time but I think, nothing can ever fill that void of losing a wonderful father. I’m sure our dads have met there in heaven already, proudly watching us.
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riz,
just got this link out of nowhere. perhaps through divine intervention. :)
i did not know that your dad passed away.
my condolences, and i pray for God to grant you strength to face your life without your dad.
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I found your story similar to mine in some ways, I lost my beloved father 11 wks, 5 days ago..I believe very strongly that he is here in spirit..and always will be….him and I were so very close, he was the most intelligent, compassionate, caring, happy, giving person i have ever known!(the list goes on)…I am forever thankful to God for giving me the blessing of having such an amazing father!..Having wonderful family and friends around me who have faith in God, has helped me inmensely! It seems that you also have wonderful people that are there for you! God bless you and your family, and may his life continue living through your hearts and memories!
yah it’s really difficult to lose a loved one knowing that kasama mo sila sa lahat ng oras tapos bigla na lang mawawala.
[…] fast” every now and then). It was different, to say the least, as it was our first Christmas without Dad. Like I said before, there will always be that empty seat, and I will always miss my Dad especially […]
[…] I Love You, Daddy. I waved goodbye and watched as the car disappeared from my view, thankful that I was blessed with such wonderful parents. Little did I know that it was going to be the last. Last time I’d ever hear my Daddy laugh. Last time I’d ever hug him. Last time I’d ever see him and my mom happy together. Last time I’d ever be with him, joke with him, laugh with him. Last time I’d ever see his smile. […]
smile, you still have your heavenly dad with you. ALWAYS :-D
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[…] of the things my Mom “assigned” me to do following Daddy’s death was to write a short letter of thanks in behalf of our family to everyone who was/is there for us […]
nakakaiyak..
My dad was promoted to glory on the 10 Jul 2008. He was laid to rest on the 19th July 2008 in Kenya.
We have faith in Jesus Christ that we will overcome the pain and out of this tragic event we will become a better family and people.
The pain will always be there but will the joy and peace that dad gave us while he was alive. Amen
I know how you mean, Edward. While my Dad’s death has been the most heartbreaking event in my life, it’s also the most life-changing. My family has never been this close, and God has been more faithful than ever. I said a little prayer for you and your family. God bless! :)
I need to start a memorial for my father who was laid to rest on the 19th of July 2008. He has a brain tumour. Your suggestions and assistance is appreciated