Guitarchic Dot Net*

With my new apartment now officially the worst thing that’s ever happened to the history of apartment-hopping (no Globe Visibility signal in my room, landlord’s PLDT connection gone blpht, cable connections not compatible with the TV, not to mention the leak that drown our stuff on the first day but don’t let me rant about that one), I nominate last week as the newest candidate to my worst weeks ever.

But that is, until yesterday, when THIS was delivered to me. Waah. :)

Yup, that’s right. There’s my ticket to one whole week of Hillsong bliss at the Acer Arena, happening on July 7-11 of this year.

But of course, I’m still not even halfway through making it. It’s just that teh boyfriend and I registered for the early-bird promo around November last year, so I’ve been getting all these mails since the start of the year — (1) confirmation letter of my registration and full-payment, (2) support document for my visa application, and (3) just yesterday, the ticket to the Hillsong Nights which comes free to those who registered.

Just the sight of my ticket, and my very own seat (well, at least the seat number), has kept me elated until now. So.. up next, Australian visa application. I just hope my fingerprints starts to cooperate already. Uggh, the fingerprints? That’s another story.

Come to think of it, whatever happens within the next 60 days — I know for sure that in the long run, I can smile and be happy with the fact that I got this far. :)

Responding to Joni’s tag, albeit a day too late. (No need to tag others now, eh?)

In the spirit of delayed mother’s day greetings, I uploaded more pics here. :)
Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy. You’re super. As always.

It’s true what we often hear them say (especially in our younger years when we seem to enjoy fighting with them all the time, heh) — someday, we’ll understand what they do for our own good, and appreciate their role in our lives. I guess that “someday” has come to me now.

So hey.. in behalf of those who, at some point in their lives, shut their doors to their moms’ faces, I raise the white flag in humble defeat. They’re right. They do know what’s best.

Happy Mother’s day to all moms out there. :)

At the risk of making this blog look like a One Tree Hill fan blog, here’s another feel-good snapshot from Season 5, Episode 15 entitled Life is Short.

I can name two people who loved (will love) this scene. Three, if you count me. It’s nice to see Brooke and Lucas in a different level of friendship now, considering the failure of their on-screen and real-life love story. (Hmm, could it still be..?) Even more so, it’s nice to see how much these characters have grown, and how their lives have changed in a way that’s so familiar you can almost feel their pain, and struggles, and joy, even from the other side of the TV screen.

Lucas, Brooke, and Little Angie

Brooke: Do you ever want to go back? I remember being sixteen, and everything just seemed much easier. Would you do it differently?

Lucas: I’d try to appreciate the things I took for granted. But I think we have to go through all these stuff you know, to get to the places we want to be.

“Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you.. it’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, you have your big plans — to find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize that it’s not always that easy.” Well, there goes Lucas Scott’s VO for you.

It reminded me of that open letter I blogged more than a year ago. (How bitter can my bachelorette life be! Heh!) Don’t get me wrong, I’m turning quarter-of-a-hundred in a few weeks, and I actually love how this life is turning out to be, complexities and all.

But it’s really just easier to WANT to grow up until you come to a point where everything just flies by too fast, and bills start piling up, and responsibilities start getting bigger and bigger. Suddenly, you hear your younger self lobbying inside you, complaining about still being too young to handle too much grown-up stuff. Missing what used to be, and wishing you’re back to that time when life is simpler, are just some of the things you expect to happen frequently as you grow older.

A while ago, we finished packing up our 7-month worth of mess. Tomorrow In a few hours, Ivy and I will be moving to a new apartment, and I’ll be saying buhbye to Aster after two melodramatic years together in the lalaland of Ortigas. (I’m gonna miss her terribly. *sniff*)

I’m starting to master the art of moving from one place of residence to another already. This is the fourth, in a span of about 2 years, and I’m hoping this move will be the last for me. Hopefully, the next one will involve packing up 20+ years worth of mess, and moving to a place big enough to build a family in.

Err. Okay, that may be a little too advanced to think about at this point but whatdahek. Grown-up stuff, you know.

Yes, this is a spoiler, if you haven’t seen Episode 14. :P

I held my breath long after the screen had gone blank. As of my most favorite One Tree Hill moments, Brooke Davis’ dream come true has, no doubt, climbed the charts. Definitely the perfect ending to an episode that was aptly titled, “What Do You Go Home To?” See, it inspired ME to blog, that must be something huh? :)

So.. Have you ever had that feeling? Waiting anxiously, almost impatiently, and finally getting the very thing you’ve dreamed of and fought for? That’s exactly what this Brooke moment was about.

Waiting, fidgeting, searching far and wide

Worried about what to do, scared to know how it would finally feel

And then.. the moment just happens. You watch your dream come closer and closer to your reach, and you brace yourself to finally grab it with arms wide open

..and you stare at it in awe, giving yourself mental slaps to see if it’s real and that you’re not just dreaming anymore. And when the reality of it finally sinks in, you know that every agonizing step towards that moment is worth it all.

It’s as if all fears are gone, and suddenly.. you forget that the rest of the world is happening around you, and all uncertainties are replaced with that one sweet moment of euphoria (see Brooke’s smile? Classic.)

..and everything just starts to make sense. You freeze that moment in your heart, make it linger for as long as you can, until you’re ready to carefully land your feet back on the ground.

Then the moment passes, and you go on living your life — only a little better, a little sweeter, a little lovelier this time.

Meh. I want to feel that moment again. No, I’m not getting a baby (although I’ve been sooo drawn to wanting one, no thanks to Sheila’s pregnancy; and having to hear Johann stories and the joys and perils of motherhood from Maia every single day).

It’s near. I can feel it. I’m coming home. One dream is going to come true for me real’ soon. :)

Wee I have a new podcast! :) And well, this came out of the blue, after having accidentally browsed through my old forgotten podcasts. So yep, as I don’t know how to get my blogging groove back anyway, I recorded an impromptu broadcast last night (which took me about 10 mins), and added the finishing touches tonight using GarageBand. Yay me!

Good things do happen when you least expect them huh? Err, I’m not exactly saying that this podcast is anything good, it’s pretty much nonsense, but I guess the good thing is.. I’m able to update this blog again after almost a month of prolonged silence.

So what’s in this podcast aside from the usual yakitiyak?

• Some updates about me (duh!)
• And a special song that was written and composed for me by teh boyfriend because I’m spoiled that way, also, lucky to have someone who creates music like he breathes them. (Surprise, hunn. Bwaha!) Seriously, he’s the real guitarchic, er, guitarboi. :P

Okay, I hope that second item is enough for you to click on that little play button down there. :) If not, then at least I’m assured that I have an audience-of-one from New York, in the form of my boyfriend. Heehee. Yep. Good enough. :)

Gcast 4th Episode: I’m Back Podcasting Yay! | Download HERE (9.3 MB)

You know those text messages that come just as you need them? Well, I got one tonight. Like, right about now. I know I’ve neglected this site for almost a month already (lots of unfinished posts in my draft, believe me), but I’m breaking the silence now to post another quotable quote from an unknown text sender. Thank you, whoever you are.

Sometimes you just want to quit a battle when things start to hurt. You want to stop and leave everything as it is before the pain gets worse. Times like this, remember that when you’ve prayed and claimed for it even before you’ve stepped in the battlefield, you can be assured that it’s definitely worth going this far.

I know what you’re thinking. Riz has got some problems up her sleeve, eh? Haha. I know right. I have a theory that my boss lurks on my blog everytime I start messing up at work, and fishes for info about my personal life, then devices a way to motivate me from there, hehe. Works all the time! (Ehem, just a theory.)

But no worries. I’m okay. No problem too big my Big God can’t fix.

Meanwhile, I’m too caught up with so many things, work and stuff. Just wanted to share the text message above, in case you need it too.

Be Right Back. ;)

I can’t believe I’d be quoting from a highschool crush (eek, I know right) who’s now a good friend I can occasionally talk to. I just can’t help but feel how much what he said makes sense, and how timely too, in a world where unbelief is staple and true love is hard to find.

When we pray for love, He doesn’t zap us with warm, fuzzy feelings, He gives us the opportunity to love. And I think, that within that impossibly hard and unchangeable situation, there lies best place to cultivate the love that we are all looking for.

I guess there’s no better way I could rephrase those words. So I quote.

Warning to all non-OTH viewers, you’ll probably want to skip reading this one. To all OTH viewers, don’t worry, no spoilers. :)

So I’m averaging barely 4 hours of sleep a day the whole week. I have two wedding album layouts on queue, not to mention that letter that my Mom’s asked me to do, and a bunch of deadlines for some freelance projects. But here’s how my Friday night went: spent the first few hours over an undeserved shopping spree with my over-used credit card, and, as soon as I got home, spent the last two hours watching the last two One Tree Hill episodes that I missed.

One Tree Hill, Season 5

As if that’s not enough, I wasted away a few more hours searching about what’s gona happen in the next episode, which, apparently, is One Tree Hill’s 100th. And now I blog about it too. (Loser, I know!) Ergo, I come to a point of surrender, acknowledging that I should probably just get this confession over and done with so I could start helping myself to go back to my responsibilities: I’m hooked. And let me just say I’m relieved that OTH is not affected by the writers’ boycott, or else I’d be having major dilemmas on how to squeeze One Tree Hill, Grey’s Anatomy, and Heroes in my schedule. (GA and Heroes are relaunching in May, I hear.)

I’m surprised with how my emotions were stirred while watching my much-awaited downloads tonight. It’s just a friggin show, I know right. But while they are actors — who, I should add, have so darn well improved through the years — and while this is just a very well-plotted fiction, my attachment to the reality of love, betrayal, friendship, quarter-life, make-or-break career decisions, the existence of people you’d love to hate, and dealing with the consequences of the past, prevailed. Good job, guys. Compared to the first four seasons, I can actually relate to what’s happening to these characters now.

OTH’s 100th episode next week! :)

So Nathan and Haley are still together when the season started, but of course someone has to add some conflict to the oh-so-solid love team. Lucas is still getting away with his impulsiveness, his smooth pick-up lines, and his over-all macho personality that is just too good to be true. I mean, how can someone who managed to jump from one relationship to another, impulsively offered marriage to two women, kissed his ex-girlfriend and proposed to his present girlfriend all in a span of an hour, and ruined friendships along the way, still be portrayed as someone gentle, and sensitive, and kindhearted? (Don’t get me wrong, I like Lucas. His character is just soo.. confusing sometimes.)

And then there’s Brooke, who still happens to be my most favorite character of all. She’s found success in her career, and has learned to be sensitive and generous to anyone who needs help. She’s still bubbly and playful and charming, lighting up the room wherever she goes. (Confession, I still want her and Lucas to end up together haha). I love her front-act confidence, and the fact that underneath “the clothes”, she’s scared, and unsure, and just wanting to be rescued like any other girl more than anything.

Brooke and Jaime, my most fave characters. :)

Finally, I love how they added Jamie’s cute little character in the story. It’s as if they placed this adorable kid in the midst of everyone as a witness to all their semi-adult drama, so we can smile after wanting to pull Carrie’s hair off, or as your heart breaks for Peyton who’s lost the love of her life.

So yeah. Anyway. I can’t wait to watch the 100th episode. Lucas and Lindsey are getting married, and I can’t wait to find out if it’s REALLY going to happen.

One of the things my Mom “assigned” me to do following Daddy’s death was to write a short letter of thanks in behalf of our family to everyone who was/is there with us throughout this whole ordeal. Mom would always tell me that I’m the writer in the family, that I’m the best person to do it, or sometimes, in her desperate attempts to make me move, she would make bola and tell me that Daddy would have wanted me to do it more than anyone in the world. It has been my greatest challenge since.

It’s gonna be Dad’s first death anniversary on the 26th, and I still haven’t come up with anything. Mom has been so patient with me, even though I know that she’s starting to get frustrated about not being able to at least give a thank you card to everyone after all these months.

It’s just that.. everytime I try to sit down to work on it, I always end up staring at a blank sheet of paper, or a blank text file, and a few minutes later, I’d start tearing up again. I’ve ran out of excuses to explain to Mom why I still haven’t come up with what she’s asking for. I know I could easily just string together words of appreciation, layout them together with a photo of my Dad, print, and send. But it’s difficult, because no amount of words is enough to thank everyone who was part of my Dad’s life and ministry. *Sigh* I’m not just being lazy. I’ve been stalling, I know right, but only because the mere thought of working on THAT letter relieves the pain of our loss, and it’s as if I have to accept over again that Dad’s already gone.

I’m turning 25 in a few months, but I still haven’t stopped feeling like still being too young to lose a father. I guess I’ll never stop feeling like that. Dad’s early death may have forced me to grow up, but deep inside I will always be that little girl who’d give anything to twirl around her Daddy in circles again. Ugh, it’s just too frustrating sometimes. I mean, why do other twentyfiveyearolds get to share their lives with their Dads and I don’t? *More sighs* Okai, I stop whining now.

So yeah, March 26 is just around the corner, and I’m starting to have more and more thoughts about Daddy again. And I have no more excuse to set aside writing that thank you letter now. I owe it to my Mom. I know how important that is to her.

But mostly, I owe it to Daddy. Since he didn’t get to have that last chance to thank all those people who were part of his life, I want to do it for him with all my heart.

I think it might have been a bad idea to do this every Friday. LOL. I mean, that’s just stupid right. Friday nights are supposed to be “let’s be as far away from the computer as possible shall we” nights. And I chose it to be the day in the week where I’d require myself to post something. Anyway. I’m giving this project a couple more tries. Hehe.

I’ll make this quick today, because I’m sooo sleepy, and tomorrow is a looong day. This week’s Click Happy Friday is also the highlight of my week. :)

Meet Strawbie, my new toy that is a Red 3rd Generation Ipod Nano

I’ve been gushing about the Pink Ipod Nano for the longest time, I know right. But the moment I laid eyes on the real thing, I didn’t like it. Apparently, it’s not anything like the illustration projected at the online Apple store. So I immediately re-ordered this limited edition red nano from Benedict. I loooove limited editions! :) And yep, I already ordered it before, but I had to retract because the pink nano was launched.

Anyway, I should stop yakking because I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. So yeah. Happy Friday to me!